Hope Finds you...

After a very scary stay in the hospital, I spent the next week avoiding crowds and hiding behind a surgical mask. Just hoping that my counts are high enough to start chemo on Monday and secretly wishing that I get another week to recover. I slept most of the weekend. Evelyn has been worrying herself sick. The doctor keeps ordering tests and they keep coming back normal. That means that she has stressed out so much that she has given herself acid reflux. Which makes me feel horrible.

I was so nervous today. I told the nurses at the Cancer center about my stay in the hospital. She looked up my labs from last week and was not happy that they let me go with my counts still low. She began to prep me to access my port and we talked about what happened. She told me that it was normal for that to happen, because I am taking a very aggressive chemo. She said that my body is not to be blamed, that the chemo is just very strong and I am already starting my fifth round so it is the accumulative effects. Then she could not find my port. Apparently it has shifted down a little bit. Again, she said it was normal but it scared the heck out of me. She was able to find it and access it with no problem. I put the magic cream on it and did not feel it at all. I waited for the blood work to come back and for the nurse to call the doctor. They said the counts were high enough to start the chemo.

After my treatment, I was starving. I slept through the whole thing. My aunt took me to the 59 Diner and I devoured my food. Guess my appetite is back, because I ate my entire meal. When we were leaving the lady in the booth next to us stopped me. She told me good luck with my treatments and that I looked very pretty. Keep in mind that I have my accessed port showing, no make up and my scarf made out of a t-shirt. She told me that she knew what I was going through and that this is the hardest thing that I will ever have to go through, but not to worry that I will get through it. She is a 10 year breast cancer survivor and she is writing a book. I told her that I have a blog and how it helps to write it out. She told me that I looked really good for what I am going through and I said that I have a nine year old at home that I am fighting for. She was a single mom too when she was going through her treatments. I have been feeling really down the last few weeks and have been trying to think positive thoughts about these last two rounds. It is amazing how when hope seems to be running low, it finds you. This time completely unexpected in a diner across town. I got in the car and was close to crying. She told me that soon I will be the one telling my survival story to someone who needs to hear it. So now with hope renewed, I am ready to face my fifth round of chemo.