Stupid charlie horses...

I had a horrible night last night. I have not had my shot yet and I am already starting to feel sore. I feel like a rag doll that has been thrown around. I had a hard time getting comfortable last night, and then in the middle of the night I had the worst charlie horse in the history of all charlie horses. I was in tears, it hurt so bad and I could not work it out for nothing. Then the pain and cramping went down to my foot and my foot started cramping up like crazy. It was horrible. I woke up this morning and it still hurt, I had to limp around. Now it is time for shrinky dinks with my baby girl...

Where have all the days gone?

I slept through them. This round has left me so very exhausted! I sleep on the way to the cancer center, then I sleep through the pre-meds and doxo. Then I sleep on the way home and then crawl into bed only to sleep the night away... I do not think I have ever slept this much before. It's crazy! I am just wondering how bad it is going to get this time. My gums are starting to get irritated and my throat was a little sore this afternoon. I was feeling very nauseated going into the treatment today, but it went away and I thought that getting the pre-meds which include Zofran would help. Then the ride home came and I could not fight it any more. I puked my brains out. I hate throwing up, it always makes me cry. Not sure why but it does. It's like a crazy release. My taste buds are off too. It's weird, some things are way too salty and some things I can barely taste at all. This is the last bag of round four. It should be done around noon tomorrow. I am so ready to get disconnected and take a long warm shower. Then only two more rounds left.

I have daily readings that I have been reading through this round. The reading for today was saying that God has a plan for everyone. That you must accept His Will. He knows more about what you need than you do. That you should be just as ready to experience suffering as to have joy, just as glad to be poor and needy as to be well off. I am trying to remind myself that everything I am experiencing now will only help me to grow to the person that I am supposed to be...

day one of round four...

The first day of chemo is the most nerve wracking. I have to willingly drive up to the center and wait for them to jab a needle into a port in my chest and start pumping me full of poison. I get really nervous on the drive up and my tummy starts to hurt. I have to take a xanex as part of my pre-meds. The last round they upped my dose from .5 to 1, which was Way too much. This time I cut them in half. I also have a lidocaine cream that I put on my port on the way up there. I sat waiting in the lobby for maybe an hour, not quite sure. Then they finally had a chair but it took a while for them to finally access my port. I had a different girl this time, she was pretty good. She talked to me through the whole thing asking how work was going. With the lidocane cream it I can barely feel the prick of the needle and she got a good blood return. It was better than the last access, so I was happy. Then I have to wait for them to process my blood work to make sure that my counts are good to start. When they start the pre-meds, I start feeling kinda loopy and I knock out. My aunt said that I was sleeping with my mouth all hanging open. I think I woke up in time for them to start the doxo, but then I was out again. Then before I knew it they had my pump hooked up and it was time to go. Which I slept the whole way home and then crawled into bed for more sleep. Now I have woken up only to remember that I have a 900 word business law paper due by 2am and I have no idea how I am going to pull that one off...

Round Four

Tomorrow I am scheduled to start round four of chemo. I am really starting to get sick of this. When I first started this the Doctor said that the first two rounds would be the easy rounds, the third would be harder and the fourth, fifth and sixth will see the cumulative side effects. The last leg of the marathon when it is harder and you get more tired. I am not excited to start this next round. The last round kicked me pretty hard. But I have medications to help with the acid reflux this time, so hopefully it will not be a problem. I have been praying for more strength to get through this next round. That the pre-meds work better this time.

Looking back the first two rounds were not that bad. Don't get me wrong, chemo friggin sucks. But the side effects were not horribly bad. I know what the doctor said, but I was surprised at how well I was doing. Then that third round came and the side effects took me by surprise. I was not expecting to feel that bad and for so long. The healing process took longer than the first two rounds. I think I stupidly began to believe that the rounds were not going to be that bad. So now, I am a little worried to see how the next couple of weeks are going to go... But once I get through these next five days, I will only have two rounds left.

Round three update

This last round hit me really hard. During the chemo treatments I started getting acid reflux. This is not something that I would have to deal with prior to my treatments. I began taking Pepcid and continued the next week after my round ended. I also had to deal with very bad nausea. They changed my nausea meds to Zofran which I love! The stuff works great. But the acid reflux continued to get worse. It started to get harder and harder to eat and even drink. Ramen noodles felt like a brick going down and cold water felt like glass. And I could feel it going all the way down... It was horrible. My mouth was also very irritated. I was afraid that I may have a mouth sore. Finally it got to the point where I had to call the doctor. He was afraid that I may have a sore that was not yet infected but close to it. He also though my blood count was getting too low, so I had to go in for blood work and a check up. That night I had a low grade fever, which I had to monitor through the night. It scared me. Turns out, it was a really bad case of acid reflux. He had me start carafate, a liquid that should work better than pepcid. He was going to give me until Monday and if it did not get better, then I will have to see a GI doctor.

Luckily this medication worked wonders! I can eat and drink now. Though the med is so expensive, I asked if I could try the pill form instead. Hopefully it will work through the next round of treatments because I really do not want to see a GI doctor and have a scope put down my throat. I can't believe how hard this last round was. I lost ten pounds in one week, it's crazy. During the first two rounds, this week I would be back to somewhat normal. Now, my mouth is still sore, I just started eating normally on Sunday and that is still not "normal". I am a little worried to see how the next round will be. Yes, I have better nausea and reflux meds, but what next? The one good thing was that the Neulasta shot did not hurt as much this time, only had to take one pain pill.

Round 4 of chemo is scheduled to start on Monday. On one hand I am so tired and not ready to start another round. On the other, I want to hurry up and get next week over with. Then I will be closer to the finish line.