So thankful

I know it has been a while but here we go...

I went to the doctor that Monday after my scan. It was a horribly long wait! But my results came back and I am cancer free. I love hearing those words! I will have to get scans done every four months for the first year. Then after that they get farther apart. I still have the port a cath in my chest, which sucks! The doctor said that we can talk about taking it out after my radiation is over with. I have to get it flushed out every month and it had been exactly one month that day. So after my visit with the doctor, I went downstairs to get it flushed again. Now, the last few times I have had my port accessed I had this numbing cream that I would apply 30 minutes before and I would not feel a thing. I did not have that luxury this time. I felt the needle go in and I yelped in pain! I am glad that I only have to do that once a month...

I started radiation that next week. The first day I was so nervous. I had a general idea of what to expect only because I had seen some pictures online and I had talked to a few people. Well, when I go to the room, I was completely thrown off guard. I was under the impression that I would lay on a table and the machine would be positioned over me. They did not tell me that it was tunnel similar to the Pet scan! My heart was racing, I did not have my pills that I take for the MRI machine that calm me down... I asked how long I was going to be in the tunnel and they said 40 minutes. So not prepared!! I was thinking this was going to take 5-10 minutes. Once I finally calmed down and they got me into position, they blasted music in the tunnel so I couldn't hear the machine. They assured me that there were cameras all over the room and that if I needed anything they would stop the machine and come in. First they put me in for a CT scan to make sure that I am laying in the right position. This lasts about two songs. Then it takes me out but my head is still in but if everything is good, I go back in for 13 minutes of radiation. The doctor said that I am going to have 30 treatments and so far I have had eight. It is getting easier now. Most of the time I hit the mark. I have only had to be repositioned one time. I also bring my iPod so I can hear my play list and not get stuck hearing 13 minutes of Creed like that first day.

The side effects are not that bad. I am tired, but no different than when I was on chemo. I have hyperpigmentation. Basically means I am REALLY tan now, haha. They gave me a cream to use and I was expecting this crazy expensive prescription cream. Nope. They gave me Aquaphor from Eucerin. It isn't hurting yet. My friend was in crazy pain with hers, but hopefully with this type of radiation it won't be that bad...

Thanksgiving was great! I had so much to be thankful for. When I first started my chemo treatments, they told me I may still be on chemo during November. This upset me so much because if I was on chemo during Thanksgiving, I would not get to eat my normal dinner. I was so thankful to be done with chemo and able to enjoy my dinner with my family and friends! I cannot believe what a crazy year I have had. But through it all I am so thankful that I am closer to God and my family.

waiting sucks

This has been one crazy week. Wednesday I was scheduled for my simulation for radiation. This is when you get a CT Scan and they make a mold of your body for the radiation. I had not seen the doctor since I was first diagnosed, so we did another consult first. He explained that since they removed the tumor, I could opt not to have the radiation. Though, he spoke with my oncologist and they highly recommend doing the radiation because the risks are too high for it to come back. I opted to do the radiation. The doctor said that he was trying to get this other type of radiation approved by my insurance but he was not having any luck. With the standard radiation, they would more than likely hit my bone and the muscle. This will deteriorate them and I will lose some more function of the muscle and possibly have a fracture in the future. The type of radiation that they are trying to get approved will be less invasive but still effective. Just a few hours after I left, the insurance approved the radiation. So, I was on my way again to have the mold made on Thursday morning. It was so very embarrassing! They frogged my legs out into this crazy position and of course a guy was one of the techs. Then after all was done they had to take pictures! I wanted to crawl into a hole... But I did see one of the patients that I did chemo with. It was nice to see them, I was wondering how he was doing. He gave me a run down of what to expect.

Then Friday came and it was time for my Pet/Ct scan. I knew what to expect because I had one done in May. So I waited my 45 minutes after the injection and was ready to go. Though I forgot how long the scan takes. I was in the tunnel for a while and it was really quite. You can hardly tell if the machine is going. I looked at the room where the tech is supposed to be and he was not there. Panic started to set in. I tried to calm myself down. I told my self that it was alright, nothing to worry about. If anything was wrong I could just shimmy on out of this tunnel. Then I remember that I was strapped in. My heart started to race and still no sign of the tech. I called out his name, three times. Nothing. Then I got this horrible thought of the machine malfunctioning and the table starting to raise with me strapped in and getting squished. Finally the tech came in and told me that everything was fine. Although they received a message that I was not to go home. I had to go straight to the hospital for a procedure. Even more panic set in at that point. Finally the machine moved and I was closer to the end of the tunnel, but I was worried.

Once the scan was done, I checked my phone and had so many messages. Apparently, the mold that was made the day prior broke in transit. I could breathe. I had to go back to get molded again. Of course, I was thinking they saw something in the CT scan. So off again to get my mold made. It was the exact same workers too, so yet another embarrassing moment. In two days, I have had three CT scans and one Pet. I go in tomorrow afternoon to get the results from my Pet/CT scan. My nerves have been so rattled! I have gone from being confident to scared and crying my eyes out back to confident. I am on an emotional roller coaster! I ran into a survivor today. He mentioned that he sometimes forgets that he is a cancer survivor until he sees someone going through it or hears about the relay for life. I also saw a video about a survivor that sometimes forgets what it was like to be bald. I can't wait for the day that I can say that... But right now I ask for prayers. Please pray that my the results from my scan come back normal and cancer free!

Update.

It has been a while since my last post! So, I have now finished my chemotherapy! <happy happy joy joy happy happy joy!> The last round was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It just seemed like it took forever for Friday to come. Then at last Friday came and it was time to ring the bell...

Ring this bell

three times well

The toll to clearly say

my treatment's done

this course is run

and I am on my way.

Cheesy I know, but when everyone gathered around me and cheered me on - the nurses, the ladies at the front desk, my mom and aunt, and some patients, rather, friends I made along the way. It was very touching. My daughter made me wear a tiara because I was the chemo princess. They all got a kick out of it. 

The next two week was crappy. I was throwing up like crazy and in pain. But I got through it. Now I have a very thin layer of peach fuzz growing on my head. My eyebrows are slowly starting to grow back, enough so I can follow the line to draw them in.

Tomorrow I will get mapped out for radiation. This is where they draw the marks on. I am nervous about this. It has been nice these last few weeks not having any treatments lined up. Just being able to rest. Radiation will last for 6 - 8 weeks.  Then on Friday, I will have another PET/CT scan.

I just started back to school. It was nice having so much free time! I sure am going to miss laying on the couch and being a bum - lol.