I could not even say that "c" word for a while. My brother told me that a friend of his said that is one of the first steps, to get over the word cancer. I went through this emotional roller coaster, that I did not ask to be on. One minute I would be laughing and then next crying all over the place. I was worried. Worried about my daughter, my mother, my family. Look what I am putting them all through. The first visit with the oncologist was very emotional. I had my mother and my boyfriend with me. I needed support and someone to take notes. The paperwork alone was a huge packet of questions. When the doctor saw me he asked if I knew exactly what we were dealing with. I said no. Liposarcoma is an extremely rare cancer. This tumor was a high grade, aggressive type but it was only less than 5cm. This means that we caught it early. He wanted me to take three CT scans, but I insisted on a PET/CT scan, one of the best body scans that they have. It looks from your scalp to the tip of your toes. Normally it is hard to get the insurance to approve it, but I did my homework and knew that it was covered. When this cancer does start to move it has a tendency to settle in the lungs. But he was fairly certain that we caught it early enough. I was scared. No, terrified is a much better word. I kept trying to smile, I knew that I was going to get through this. I was just not sure how much I was going to have to go through. He said that chemo and radiation, possibly more surgery would probably be needed. We were just going to have to wait for the scan results to come in.
The next day my brother took me to the radiologist. This appointment went much better. The nurses were very nice and explained the whole process. I watched a video that showed the machine and then I spoke with a nutritionist. The doctor looked at my MRI and determined that if they could clear the margin, then I could get a smaller dose of radiation which would be better in the long run. The surgeon agreed. Next step, waiting for my PET/Scan to be approved.
Day 3 of Chemo
The ambien worked great last night. I actually slept, very well. My mom, aunt and daughter should come this afternoon. The medication can attack the neurological system. If I start getting disoriented or confused they have to stop the infusions immediately. So they wanted someone to stay with me during the day. It is also nice that my brother works upstairs. I have about 1/4 of my second bag of the 24 hour chemo left. Hopefully today I can take a shower before they start the next drip and change into some normal clothes. I am sick of hospital gowns and the nurse said that I can wear something normal as long as the can access the port. I am surprised how well I am taking this. I thought I would be sick to my stomach, but from what I hear that comes later on. So far so good. I am stocked on lemon drops and grape, apple and orange heads but I have not had to use them. When they flush the line you can taste it. This evening I will get my last bag of doxorubicine. It is a small red bag that takes about 30 minutes to drip. Then today and tomorrow another bag of the Ifex. Hopefully I will heal fast so that I can knock this out every 21 days. That would be so great.
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