She scared the $#!t out of me...

For the PET/CT scan I was a nervous wreck. Louis took me to the appointment. My stomach turned just at the thought of what they might find. A friend of mine told me that it was the best scan to get. It lights up like a Christmas tree where ever you have the cancer cells. We walked to the back to start with the injection. First they have to check your blood sugar and then they inject you with radioactive glucose. You have to be completely still and you cannot talk. If you tense your muscles it will settle there or if you talk it will all go to your throat. They leave you alone for an hour. It seemed like forever. Once they started the machine was not bad at all. Much better than my experience in with the MRI, didn't even need to be medicated to get through it. They let him watch the images as they scanned me. When we were done I asked if he saw a Christmas tree, he said no. I wasn't scheduled to go to the oncologist until the next day. The waiting was horrible. Finally, it was time for my appointment. I was terrified and crying in the waiting room. I wished they would just come out and say good or bad, that is all I wanted to know. It was so hard to read the doctor when he came in to the room. He told me that I had a healthy scan. It was isolated to the leg, and there was very little left. I cried, tears of relief of course. He was certain that another surgery would remove the remaining margin. Then a course of chemo and radiation to make sure that it does not have a chance to spread or come back. I could breathe, but I was still very scared.

Today I woke up after 8am. My stomach felt a little uneasy, but I thought that it was probably because I had not eaten. I hurried up and ordered my breakfast. Once I ate, my stomach felt much better. But then my problems started. You may want to stop here if you do not want to know about the inner workings of my body. But yes, it was bad. I tried and tried but nothing was working. I actually called for help, how embarrassing! I finally heard the nurse at the door with the glove, but that was all I needed. I thanked her and advised that her services were no longer needed. I guess I just need her there to scare the shit out of me. This is how the rest of my day went. I broke my rule with talking through the bathroom door. Today they gave me a file folder to keep up with my paperwork and they gave me the the LiveStrong workbooks. They would have been great to have a month ago when I started my own. I had some awesome visitors from work today, my brother came by. My uncle has been texting me all day, trying to make me laugh. I was finally able to talk to my best friend who just got back in the country. Today I will start my last bag of chemo! Though it sucks that they are getting such a late start. Once this bag is done they will flush my system and my first round will be done!