Access denied.

My appointment was at 1030 this morning. I was so nervous. I worked for 2 and a half hours and then made my way up to the cancer center. Did my vitals and weight. Then was taken back. It was not what I expected at all. There were reclining chairs all over the place. People were all crammed together. I my half circle, there was a lady that was battling cancer for the third time and her hubby, two ladies that didn't speak English and a young man that had a blood disorder. Then it was time to access the port. They first gave me a xanex and then asked if I wanted to wait for the cream to numb the area. I said no, just get it over with. Come to find out the lady was still in orientation and was an RN that went from oncology to home health and is now back in oncology. Not extremely seasoned with accessing a port. She pushed the needle in and it hurt, alot. Then she pushed the saline and pulled back for a blood return and it hurt worse. I told them something was wrong, that it really hurt. It felt nothing like the first time and that was a fresh port. Then the other nurse tried and disconnected it. He said one, that she could have missed the port, two, the line could be pinched between my clavicle and rib or three, both. They put the lidocane cream on it and waited for that and my xanex to kick in some more. I was so scared, I had tears streaming down my face. I was afraid that I went through all of that to have the port installed and it quit working after the first treatment. So then the other nurse attempted. I didn't feel a thing going in, and the blood return was good. I had to take deep breaths, so it may have been pinched.

Then they started my premeds all mixed in one bag. This made drift off in the clouds. Once that ended, they started the doxo (the red bag). The ladies thought it was neat that I get a red bag. I did not. I slept through the doxo and woke up hungry, but just in time to learn about my new pump. They told me what to do, the different error messages and the most important thing - do not panic! It should be done tomorrow around 930. This sucks. They are changing it from  a 24 hour push to a 18 hour push. I am feeling a little nausea which can happen when they push it too fast. And oh yes, it is in a fanny pack.I have my very own fanny pack that I can bling out if my little heart desires.