Preparing for the next round.

With the next round coming up, I thought I should tidy up a bit around my room. That way I don't have to worry about cleaning with a pump attached. I came across the Health Manager folder they gave me when I was in the hospital. It is from the American Cancer Society. Inside there is so much information about cancer in general, your treatments, pain management, diet - everything. I also have the printouts of my medications that tell you about the drugs and their side effects. I looked through the information, some of it for the first time. I thought I should at least read over the medication info since I am starting the next round on Monday. But the cancer info is what got me. It made me cry. I was so mad that I had to sit there and read this information. I was mad that I have to go through this. I was scared about what lies ahead. I missed my hair. And every time I move I can feel the tube that runs from the port. Then it made me mad that I was sitting there mad, scared and crying letting this little medical folder get me down. I am trying so hard not to dwell on the situation. To have a positive outlook and to be able to joke about my new hair style or lack thereof.  To wake up thankful for everyday that God has given me. To tell my little girl how much I love her everyday. And to be thankful that even though I am in the situation that I am in, the tumor is out and I am handling the chemo very well.