Going from Anxious to Nervous.

At first I was ready, I just wanted to get this next round started. The sooner it is started the sooner it will be over. Now, my tummy is a nervous wreck. The doc said, that if round one is good - then round two should be good. I can't believe it is already time to start the next round. I hope it continues to move along like this. But round two will be a little different and I think that is what makes me nervous. Yes, I get to do this outpatient. I get to come home and sleep in my own bed, even attempt to work as much as this allows. But I am not going to be in the hospital. That is what is freaking me out. If the pump starts beeping in the middle of the night, I can't push the nurse button and have someone come to fix it. I can't call on room service to bring me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and jello. Though, it will be nice not to hear the lady in the next room screaming and moaning at all hours of the night. I am nervous though. I was looking on YouTube for scarf tips and I ran across these videos on a Canadian comedian who was diagnosed with breast cancer at 36. She video taped her journey through chemo. I laughed mostly, cried just a bit but I know that I can get through this. And even though I am going through something that is so hard emotionally and physically, it could be worse. Her website is www.chem-ho.com yup she's single, lol. But to see someone going through the treatments, laughing and cracking jokes, was very helpful.

On another note, I am the proud new owner of a small scarf collection thanks to one of the ladies at my church. Most of them are smaller, like a fancy bandanna. I will have to YouTube more ways to tie a bandanna. And they mostly look like they are from the 70s, very much vintage! I was also trying to line out my wardrobe for this week. Because of the chemo sweating out of the body, I have to be able to wash everything in hot water. So thanks to sterfry05 on YouTube, I have made some scarves out of shirts that I found on sale. That way if they get messed up no worries, they weren't that expensive and are easier to wash. I am working with this, trying to roll with the punches, make lemonade and all that jazz...