Oh the Pain...

So after the appointment with the surgeon I had an appointment with the oncologist to find out what the next step was going to be. We discussed how the margin was cleared and the incision was healing nicely. He told me that we would start with four to six months of chemo and then six to eight weeks of radiation. At first he wanted me to start the chemo that Monday, but he decided to give me one more week of healing. Then I would be admitted to the hospital for the first round of chemo. The doctor said that this mix of chemo is known to work on this type of cancer, so that is where we will start. There are some people that cannot handle this type of chemo, but because I am young and healthy, I should have no problems. The first round will be administered in the hospital and then the others can be done outpatient. The depending on my blood count the next 21-30 days later. I was freaked out. I knew it was coming, but it seemed so fast! I was overwhelmed and scared.

I think that brings us up to date of where I am now. It is a week after my first chemo treatment. I was doing fine until Thursday around midnight. Before then, I was just tired and I had bathroom issues. But no nausea and no vomiting. I was doing so good. I got my shot on Monday and they said that a side effect could be achy bones. But that would be a good thing because I would know that the shot is working. Work has been hard, only because I am so tired. Then on Thursday I went to get my blood work done after work. When registering, the lady gave me a hard time. I ended up crying. Then I got home and had the start to a rough night. Around midnight, my back started aching. Then it slowly got worse. By 2am, I wanted relief. My legs were restless, I couldn't sleep, it was so bad. I went to my mom, who come to find out was still asleep. She got me back in bed and told me to just go to sleep. By 4am I was balling in tears. It would start at my shoulders and it felt like two bats taking turns hitting me all the way down my back to my thighs. And then it would start over. bam*bam*bam*bam all the way down. I couldn't sleep, everything was throbbing in pain. Every move made it worse. I was on the couch trying to see if that would be more comfortable, when my mom woke up. I couldn't stop crying, I just wanted the pain to stop and I was afraid that I was going to have this pain for the next six months. My mom made a desperate call to the neighbor, a stage four breast cancer survivor. She calmed me down and told me it is normal., it is just a side effect from the shot and chemo. She asked if we had pain meds and I had some left over pain pills from the surgery. She told my mom to make me a peanut butter sandwich, give me a pill, have me take a lukewarm shower, change into flannel pj's and get under the covers. The shower made the throbbing go away. The pain meds let me sleep. The next day at work, it took everything to get through the day. I had to take pain pills to get through the constant throbbing. Even my teeth were throbbing! Not to mention the dry mouth, ugh. But I got through the day. The evening was not that good. I went to sleep after I got home, which means I waited to late to eat. By the time I needed to take my next pain pill I didn't have anything in my tummy. So I had to eat first, which pushed my pill out. I slept for a little more, but then when I woke up I was hungry, but the nausea came on in a flash. I didn't even have the time to take the medication. Before I knew it my head was in the trash can. I hate throwing up. Today was better. I woke up starving and have held everything down, though I did take the anti-nausea meds. The pain is nothing like it was Thursday night, but every now and then I get a throbbing pain going down my back. Simple tylenol is helping with that. I slept most of the day but was up in time for church. I prayed for strength to get through the pain...