not exactly the results I was looking for.

It was a nerve wracking day. My stomach started to turn the farther into the day I got. My appointment was not until 3pm, so all I could do was think about what lies ahead. I prayed, a lot. I prayed for strength, for a good scan, everything. The doctor came in and took a seat. You can never tell from his expression because even when it is extremely good news he looks solemn. He asked me how I was doing and if I have been doing anything different. I just wanted to know how the scan was and he said first lets talk about how you are. There I knew that something could be wrong. I told him about my leg swelling. I thought perhaps, it could be from the exercise. I told him it was not much, but I was getting more activity in daily. I also told him that it is the same swelling that I got from the radiation and if I elevate my leg or sometimes overnight the swelling goes away. There is slight pain, but I do not have to take medication for it.

He continued to tell me that it all sounded good and it explains the scan. The scan is designed to basically light up any hot spots in the body that are malignant. Something I already knew. He went on to explain that sometimes, the reading is not accurate because there could be other possibilities of why an area would light up. There are also different levels of concern. A four, for example could be a possible inflamation or infection and a 15 or 20 would show cancer cells. He said that my leg is inflamed, this would be a result of the radiation and activity. I have to get a measuring tape and record the measurements of my thigh. He also suggested that I continue to exercise on a regular basis and continue to diet. Another PET/CT scan will be done four months from now and an MRI. If I continue to have swelling that will not get better or higher pain levels then I will have to go back sooner. He was confident that this is normal and that it will not turn into anything more. Since I have had two surgeries, six rounds of chemo and 30 radiation treatments the area in my leg is scarred and tougher than it was before. This will show as an abnormality on the scans.

I am trying to be happy and thankful for the results, but I am still scared. I wanted to hear the words clean scan and disease free. High fives all around! Instead I hear that the scan has lit up, but not to worry it might be ok. We will see in four months. I hate this waiting game. Waiting to see if something may or may not return. The doctor was confident that the scans were good enough that the port can be removed. I almost want to keep it in for another four months just in case. How sick is that? The only thing I can do now is pray. I put this in God's hands and I pray for his guidance. I ask anyone who reads this to continue prayers. It almost feels like I have had such a long journey, but in reality the journey ahead is just as hard if not harder. The unknown of what lies ahead.