I am getting very nervous. When I was at my appointment on Thursday, the doctor cleared me to get my port removed. Jokingly, I told the nurse that I would like to have it taken out the next day. She said OK and began to write that date down and I freaked out. Told her no, I was kidding and that I have to psych myself up for it. So we settled on Monday. Tomorrow. I had my port installed in June of last year. I cannot believe that tomorrow, I will be on my way to the hospital to have it removed. It is kinda weird. I have developed this odd relationship with my port. I hate it and cannot wait until the day I have it removed. That will be a huge mile stone for me. But on the other hand. It has been with me for almost a year now. It will be weird not having it there. Not having to go and get it flushed every month. Not being able to feel it when I move my neck. Then I wonder if we are rushing into having it removed. Should I keep it in just a bit longer, just in case?? Then again, this doctor has so much experience, I am sure he knows what he is doing...
Some have asked me if I am going to keep it. It can be my trophy, my badge of honor. Heck, I did pay for it after all. But then some would rather throw it out and not think about it ever again. I am still not sure. I do know that I am not excited about the surgery tomorrow. I was a nervous wreck when I had it installed. They don't knock you out or strap you down. They gave me the equivalent to a six pack and told me to lay down and stay still. Ugh! So again, asking for prayers for the procedure tomorrow.
Just one more step closer to being somewhat normal...
As I have gone through this journey, I found a set of videos that have helped. I cried, I laughed, I was able to relate. Though I did not name my port, we have gone through a lot. I must say that this video is not for the squeamish, but it is kinda funny...
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